I broke into smile. For this last week- and longer - I've been hitting a brick wall - smashing into the buffers - everything that could go wrong, went wrong. My creativity stifled and the universe is not co-operating. I want to get on and DO, but everywhere I turn I'm met with non-cooperation and stupid, automated, non-human systems, or if there's an actual human lurking behind the system, they're behaving like a stupid automaton just to wind me up. I want to do things with my website - make changes, bring it unto date, add some new art and take away some of the older stuff;
I want to revise my book, Dreaming Worlds Awake, on Lulu - improve the colour quality and proportions of the cover design plus add the dollar price to the UK price. Also I want to include a new illustration to the interior and a new poem. But after going through all the steps, successfully uploading all the revised content and improved cover, when I went in to actually buy a couple of review copies I discover that Lulu have somehow upped my cover price by quite some. It's now priced something like $2.50 higher than the price on my cover -- the price which I entered as I went through the revision procedure - and the figure which it had been priced at before, the UK £ price, is nowhere to be seen.
The whole reason I decided to give Lulu a try and go Self-Publishing, was so that I could be solely in charge of the procedure. It would give me the freedom as an artist to make these new additions and improvements as and when I felt prompted by my creative urge to do so. And I have to say, until now, I have been very pleased with my Lulu experience. But something has happened. I didn't ask for this hike in cover price - I don't want it. It doesn't match the price stated on the back cover. If someone buys it and sees the cover price they'll wonder who's ripping them off --- and it isn't me.
Is this happening to anyone else? No-one but me seems to have noticed. Or if they have no-one has brought it up on Lulu's system. It's a system where you don't get answers easily. You're given all those FAQs to look at, and a list of virtual 'experts' who, it turns out, shower you with a load more of other poor b******s unsatisfactorily answered questions, plus an email help, which again no-one ever responds to -- or was that just my experience?
I went back through the 'revision' process and tried again -- and again - to get it to accept the dollar price I wanted. Made sure I'd entered UK and not US as my country of residence and entered my UK cover price as priority. Still nothing changed. Then eventually I managed to do an online chat in which I was told that because production costs in the US are higher than in England, that would probably account for the hike in price. YET, and tell me if I'm wrong -- when my revised copy arrived, it seems to have been printed and despatched from within the UK. Am I being ripped off? It feels like it, and if Lulu's policy has changed, no-one told me. I can't get through this barrier and I can't get any sensible information.
This is just one of the barriers I've crashed into these last few days. My webpage inaccessibility is another. My Amazon Author page another. And there are others I won't go into (including a hellish bout of cramp, my whole body seizing up.)
All of this happening down at the physical level, the real-life in-the-body everyday existence level. But this is not the whole story. This is not the whole ME. My whole reason and purpose -- call it what you will - in living and writing and creating art, is a spiritual one. Whenever I hit brick walls I talk to my 'friends in higher places'. Not only when I crash and dive, of course; I talk to them every day come whatever. I have many such friends. A large family of guides, helpers, healers and advisers on 'the other side'. Some of them I have known in this lifetime, others from lifetimes in the past, as well as my Soul-Self, Divine Self. One of these friends, ascended master Kuthumi, last night reminded me of something he'd told me months ago. ' Whenever you're feeling stuck and unable to move forward, things are not always as they seem. A lot is going on beneath the surface. Let go the feeling that your not doing enough and can't move on. It's time for an energetic Time Out with your self. Rest and recuperate, let go.'
And this is why I smiled this morning. I opened a book lying beside my computer, 'Duck Soup for the Soul' by Celestial comedian, Swami Beyondanander who I'd met staring on stage at a Mind and Consciousness conference in Albuquerque some years ago. Top of the page it said, When Nothing Works --- Do Nothing. I'd suddenly seen the double meaning. Nothing Works!
(By the way if anyone is interested in buying my book(s) at cover price plus P&P, they can still be got from my website www.esmeellis.co.uk or email me at esme.ellis@btinternet.com )
8 comments:
Such a true statement: When nothing works, do nothing. It's just so difficult for most people to embrace this idea. We like to think that everything is in our control, and that things will get better if we just work harder. But sometimes the best action is no action at all. Thanks for reminding us of this!
Thanks Darlene, I think what I liked so much was the dawning realisation that what he'd actually said, was Nothing Works i.e. actually Works. That is if we can only allow it.
All true creativity comes out of Nothing. Wow! And I suppose that leads back to my cave blog. The cave is a metaphor for the emptiness from which everything arises. I think Plato also taught about this Cave.
That's a great 'catch', Esme! I just told my writing friend and partner Susan this morning, that I suspect robots are working the computer systems- not people. Every reply these days is an automated and impersonal response. Kuthumi is right: forcing the issues is never the answer, because the Universe knows what's best for us!
Nothing works - funny Esme! And true. Sometimes there's nothing left to do ;)
Tech issues, ugh. There *should* be a logical answer, dammit! When pushing for answers and applying tried and tested methods no longer works, it's frustrating. But it forecasts a whole new way is about to come in. Creation in progress.
I have a friend who went through this. She went homeless, was living in her car. And when there were no solutions, she got the hit "Do nothing". Hell of a thing to move through, survival fears and all. But she's now living her passion!
So pleased to have these comments from you all. And altho I 'know' how true it is, I lose it and sink back into doubting. So when I hear what you've got to say I feel supported. - like we're a community taking the journey together -- which we are.
Even just last night I had another of my 'talks' with that no-longer-in-the-physical-body community, what I call 'my friends in high places,' and was told what I'd been told hundreds of times before, that we're all in this together helping to bring about a whole new way of being on the earth as divine creators while still in the body. But, in my case, the 'body' reacts as if it's in deadly peril and the mind as if it's about to lose its identity. so that's why it seizes up.
So whatever your individual path throws at you (mixed metaphors an all!) let's celebrate.
This is an interesting post Esme, as it is my intention to self-publish as well in the near future. This just came in handy. Thank you!
This is a very helpful post Esme. I appreciate it. Thank you for sharing. I will follow your blog now. :-)
I think most of us have been in that space, Esme. I like your "friends in high places" approach :-). A great reminder that we're always so much more than any experience we're having!
Dan
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